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Depression starts with sadness. It isn’t sadness but it starts with it. Somebody calls you up and says- How are you? And you start crying and you find yourself crying for anything. You hear a sad song, you cry, you see happy people and you cry. There is this thumping pain in your chest, your head is throbbing with all your thoughts and everything seems a blur. But there are times in between when you are happy, you go out for a movie, and you forget about your sadness. And then when you come back you again feel the same as before. Then something when you see your friend who is achieving heights so much. And you say- I am such a loser and you cry more and everybody around you starts to tell you- snap out of it, what you are doing. You know you want to get out of it, you know you want to feel happy but you don’t know how to, you know that people around you love you, but you can’t feel that. You don’t know how to help yourself till one day it all changes you are blank and that is depression.

You feel relief at first and you say- Hey! I am not crying anymore, I didn’t wake up with a throbbing headache and a clenching chest. And you start to feel everything watching live and everything around you is surreal. You are there but not there. You wake up in the morning and the first thing you want to do is go right back to sleep and lie down. You can’t sleep but you just want to lie down because you have no energy in you. Suddenly from sad songs the sound of the music itself hurts you, you don’t want to hear any sound of music or people talking to you. And there are times when people come to you and tell you- you need to be grateful for what you have, shake it up, look at your friends, look at what they are doing, why you are in this whole. Then one day you shake yourself up and say today I will do this work but as you get up from your bed you feel dizzy, your legs are like jelly and this is absolutely like a drain of energy from your body. You go back to your bed and find yourself pretty worthless. Sometimes you get suicidal thoughts as well.  All these things are common then.

There are some common fears that you have this time you feel that you are not good enough, nobody loves you, you are ruining your life and ruining everybody else’s life as well.

If you have had some of the previously mentioned symptoms for more than two weeks, you might be suffering from depression. Recognizing that you’re depressed is essential to getting the right help.

Depression affects millions of people, but there are varying treatments available, from lifestyle changes to medications. No matter the path of treatment you choose, asking for professional help is the first step to getting back to feeling like yourself again. In addition to accepting yourself and treating yourself in the best way possible.

by Nikita Negi

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